day 18

Jan’s Do’s and Don’ts for Travel (and Life)

i talked to my mom about hawai’i yesterday. she didn’t even know i was here. (for starters, don’t follow my example on that.) anyway, she’s been here, and she started talking about all these things i need to go see. mountains and craters and palaces and such. when i expressed disinterest, she told me i was missing the point of coming here. that i was missing out on the beauty.

well, i guess that’s not really the kind of beauty i seek. i find that the actual planning, preparing, and traveling are stressful enough; i don’t want to obligate myself to a whole lot of planning, scheduling, and running around once i arrive. i prefer to lay back and soak things in without having to work too hard. i also think i’m a lot more interested in my personal experience with the people and culture of a place than i am in the traditional tourist sights.

it’s funny, for each thing my mom feels i’m missing out on, i can name something that i feel was her loss. she might have seen the road to hana, but she’s never had fresh malasadas, ya know? and more importantly, if she came back, she still won’t know anyone here. i will. and as a person who has been timid and shy all her life, that kind of experience means more to me than any sunrise over the haleakala crater ever could.

any-hoo, here are some jan-style (read: cheap and low-key) travel do’s and don’ts. i’m still finding my way, of course, but here’s some of what i’ve got so far:

do get out and see the world. don’t let opportunity (and life) pass you by.

do live like a local. find a house or apartment, not a hotel. if it means having a housemate or roommate, so much the better. you’ll split costs and have a built-in support network.

do make sure you will be able to take care of your needs on foot. ask lots of questions about the place you plan to stay. for example, is there a grocery store? drug store? nearby bus stop?

do accept help and/or company from your housemate or roommate, but don’t be dependent on it.

don’t get yourself into situations that you can’t get yourself out of alone. speaking of that, do familiarize yourself with bus routes and schedules, and do make a point of getting numbers (plural) for cab companies.

do ask questions. most people are happy to help you. for example: what time is the last bus? what does that air raid siren mean? i’ve been stung by a man-o-war (yes, i looked it up)—can you please call an ambulance for me?

do eat where the locals eat. that includes convenience stores and roadside eateries. cheap treats are great everywhere. i think if i were a foreigner visiting mainland america, i would find a big bite and a slurpee delightful.

do pick up local newspapers. you’ll find things to do besides the touristy stuff.

do look into volunteer opportunities during your stay. if you have the time and ability, it’s a great way to get involved, see things you might not have seen, and meet more people.

do take your cue from the locals about how to dress. if they’re all wearing flip-flops, there’s probably a reason for it.

do push yourself to try some things that are outside of your comfort zone, be it dancing in public or wearing shorts. if you got up the nerve to travel far away by yourself, now is not the time to wimp out about showing some skin. don’t skip it simply because you’re not 22. you’ll look back ten years from now and say, “i still looked good; i could have done it”—but by then it’s too late. do avoid future regrets when foreseeable.

on that note, at left is how i was dressed while leaving the beach yesterday (i’ve applied the Glamour don’t eye bar in my mother’s honor). my shorts had gotten splashed while i was walking at the edge of the water. i had on a bikini underneath (with a repaired neck strap), so i took them off. on my way back home, a good-looking local dude gave me his business card. it was for carpet and upholstery care. i thanked him but explained that i don’t live here. “well, if you have any questions about the island, you can give me a call anyway,” he said. “we’ll cruise.” the moral is, ladies, we’re all too hard on ourselves about our bodies. you probably look better than you think. do test this theory.

and do accept being hit on as flattery, but don’t actually take anyone up on it. unless, of course, your trip is about getting your proverbial groove back. there’s probably a whole other set of do’s and don’ts that goes along with that, but i honestly wouldn’t know about such things.

do be open to overtures of friendship. i’ve found that maui is a particularly friendly place, especially at bus stops. (probably due to the often one hour wait between buses.) anyway, i met imani and phylicia* at the bus stop after the parade and wound up being invited along to the maui film festival with them. (imani just moved here to be with her boyfriend, and phylicia is the boyfriend’s mother.) and then i met audrey* at the film festival, and she wound up at the bus stop with me afterward. we talked for the entire bus ride back to kihei. really cool people. i’m glad i had a chance to meet them.

and finally, do keep a journal or a blog. when that infamous ten years from now comes along, it will be there to remind you of all the sights, sounds, smells, and tastes you once experienced—as well as the not-too-shabby figure you were still daring to show back then. 😉

*all names changed